The Castro’s Naked Bros? They’re harmless.

San Francisco’s Castro has historically had a history of public nudity on occasion. And the naked bros are just a part of that. I see them walking down the sidewalk of Castro or on 18th Street even on some very chill days. When they first appeared years ago, the conservative prudes in the neighbourhood demonstrated a very small town mentality over them, including some queers who bullied them — I observed that — which some of us found most unfortunate and ironic, since queers know what it’s like to be bullied themselves, so why would they bully the naked bros? (roll eyes).

This was also around the same time that the conservative merchants and residents were sanitising the neighbourhood to cater to the prudish straights who were moving into The Castro. The heterosexuals knew — or should have known — the neighbourhood they were moving into yet they wanted to change it to the way they wanted it. They demanded that the sex stores put white stickers over sex video covers that showed a sexually explicit act or a sexual body part. So, what one saw was a store window full of white stickers on video covers. Insanity. Of course, the heterosexuals could have moved to anywhere in The City, but they chose The Castro, and the conservative merchants were complicit in the sanitising of the area. They began screaming, “What about the children?” Oh here we go with that again! (roll eyes). One of the merchants who ramrods the area whinged that she didn’t want her granddaughter seeing naked guys on the way to school. Well then move, bitch. (As that woman said the other night on “Becker.”) Nobody is forcing you to live here. And frankly I don’t think the naked guys are out that early; they’re usually around in the afternoon. And I suspect your granddaughter would have no problem seeing nudity. She’s probably seen a lot more than you have. It’s your prudish ass who has the problem with it. Then there was Scott Penis, another prude conservative politician piece of trash, in addition to his anti-homeless sit/lie law, he dreamed up a city-wide nudity ban for a few naked guys in The Castro. Why would one need a city-wide ban for something that is happening in The Castro? More insanity. But consider the source. Scott Penis has issues and sexual hangups. He’s a piece of work. The Castro saw him as The Holy and Indivisible Trinity and Boy Wonder. The Castro became very conservative. The older conservative guys practically genuflected to him on the sidewalk when they saw him, and greeted him with “How’s it going, my boy?!” My boy?

There was even a campaign around that same time to “Queer The Castro.” I don’t think it got too far but imagine a campaign to queer a former Gay Mecca. Incredible. That shows you how much The Castro had changed. An acquaintance of mine moved to San Diego around that same time. Each time I saw him he would say, “Welcome to the heterosexual Castro” as heterosexual couples with baby strollers passed us.

But these days, from what I can tell, people pretty much leave the naked bros alone or ignore them. Some of the original naked bros are still walking around The Castro on occasion. When they first showed up, the word was that they were straight dudes. These days? Not sure. I still see the one or two straight bros but some of the others might be bi or queer.

There’s always the “what about the children?” prudes. Well, what about them, prudes?! Kids have seen naked people — including adults — before.

The naked bros have nothing to do with sex but I would just like to point out that kids the days often know more about sex than their prudish parents. And why do many people become prudes after they become parents? They like to forget their own sexual past. Nope, kids these days are not these little innocent beings, at least City kids aren’t. They learn from their friends at school.

You might be wondering, how many naked bros are there? Well, there’s probably a total of about 5, give or take. That’s all? Yeah, that’s about all I’ve seen on occasion. Sometimes two are together but I’ve never seen them all together. They mostly stay to themselves as in one guy walking by himself. They’re mostly white and most aren’t very attractive — but then attractive is subjective, isn’t it? — but there is an attractive Black bro on occasion (well I find him fairly attractive), and there are on occasion new naked bros. But they’re never all on the streets at one time. I saw a new naked bro this afternoon. He was wearing a black face mask.

San Francisco used to have this “live and let live” reputation/attitude which I had said awhile back had disappeared when the City became more conservative with the tech invasion and we became the Tech Capital. But fortunately, with the naked bros — at least from what I’ve seen; I hope no one is hating on them — it would seem that most San Franciscans are back to the “live and let live” way of thinking. Some of the naked bros wear a sock over their dick, but others don’t. But no one has ever been harmed by seeing a limp dick. Oh, there has been at least one naked chick in The Castro as well. One or two, but that’s been pretty rare to see and I thought she was fairly attractive. She smiled as she walked by.