Kick the Can: They all became kids again.

We live in a very ageist society of increasing ageism.

“Old” is a mindset. It’s a mindset that I reject. One chooses to be “old” by their state of mind. Many people choose to be “old” by their conservative, backward thinking long before they reach their 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s or 90s.

Years ago there was a self-improvement television programme called “Starting Over” produced by Bunim/Murray Productions, and life coach Iyanla Vanzant preached “age appropriate” clothing for some of the graduating women in the Starting Over House high up in the Hollywood Hills (second season). I strongly disagreed with her “age appropriate” nonsense because 1) who is to judge what is “age appropriate” — it’s only one person’s opinion — and 2) at what arbitrary age should someone be wearing such and such? 3) Who decides that? Again, it’s one person’s (conservative) opinion. Of course Iyanla never said, but “age appropriate” translated as looking/dressing conservatively. That was the bottom line on the show. People should wear what they want regardless of their age is how I feel about it. Iyanla’s thinking on this matter was very ageist and conservative, but I suspect she never thought of it that way.

Ageism also came up in the excellent television programme “Father Knows Best” when one of the University guys was called “old man” by some of the younger guys. He responded, “I’m only in my 30s.”

Unfortunately, many people with health problems think/decide they’re “old” even though their current health problems are not at all age-related. But they think that not feeling well means they’re “old.” There are of course some age-related health problems, but I’m not talking about those. I have a couple of those, but I don’t consider myself “old” and never will. I’m more like Ringo Starr who’s in his 80s but says in his head he’s in his 20s. I very much relate to that. He’s very healthy; he says he’s a vegetarian. Frankly, I don’t really think about age. And I don’t think much about birthdays, unlike a relative of mine — in her early 60s — who thinks the world should stop on its axis to celebrate her birthday. And if someone misses her birthday, they will never hear the end of it! And if someone doesn’t buy her the correct birthday present, they will never hear the end of that either. Yes, she’s a piece of work. Yet in her 60s, she has never learned to graciously accept gifts, even if she really doesn’t like the gift. Even though she’s ageist and “old” any other time, when it comes to her birthday, she acts like a little girl and wants everyone’s attention on her birthday complete with balloons. So despite her ageism, when it comes to her birthday, she never matured mentally past her childhood and the way kids approach their birthday.

Rod Serling’s Kick the Can episode of the Twilight Zone was about society’s ageism. His programme was excellent. It was about people who had been brainwashed with ageism and “being old.” All of the residents of Sunnyvale Rest were there in this house waiting to die, having been put there by family members.

There was one resident of this dying place who resisted “being old.” He watched and related to a group of young kids who played Kick the Can near Sunnyvale Rest. One day, Charles walked out of Sunnyvale Rest and picked up the kid’s can they had been kicking around and kept it. They asked him, “Mr, what are you doing?” The other residents in the house complained about the kids and the noise they made. But Charles (the guy who related to the kids) defended the kids and reminded everyone waiting to die that all of us played kick the can and other games when we were their age. The kids are doing the same things we did when we were kids. Charles told them, “Once you stop playing kick the can, you grow old.”

The head of the home threatened to isolate Charles for being “insane” because he refused to swallow the institutional ageism and “old” thinking that was being promoted by himself and all the other ageism-brainwashed residents of Sunnyvale Rest.

One day Charles went out and played in the lawn sprinkler like he did as a little boy and showed the others what they were missing. The head of the house and the others thought he was off the latch and he was threatened with isolation because he wasn’t following the “we are old and waiting to die” script of Sunnyvale Rest.

So one night Charles gathered many of the other residents on the lawn and they went out to play kick the can. But Charles’s longtime childhood friend refused to go. Until he saw all the other residents out on the lawn return (in body) to their childhood again and became just like the kids they complained about. The head of the home asked, “Who are these kids? What are they doing out this late at night?” He didn’t know they were the residents of the house who had physically returned to their childhood of when they played kick the can. Then Charles’s friend begged to join them. He recognised Charles from their childhood, but it was too late. Charles walked away from him. Charles’s friend had to return back to the home by himself. All the others had returned to their childhood in body, and had their full life ahead of them again. Rod Serling ended his programme with this:

“Sunnyvale Rest: A dying place for ancient people who have forgotten the fragile magic of youth.

A dying place for those who have forgotten that childhood maturity and “old age” are curiously intertwined and not separate.

A dying place for those who have grown too stiff in their thinking.”